Partnerships should be 50/50 participation, which means you are 50% of the partnership with your horse. Our equine partners can only grow as much as we do. The fact that you are here, reading this sentence, means you already are looking for ways to improve your connection, trust, and partnership with your horse.
If you are reading this, you already possess the mindset to achieve a deeper connection with your horse.
What is the Secret to a great equine partnership?
First off, you are the best gift to your horse; you are your horse's number one advocate for their safety, well-being, and happiness.
No other trainer, Facebook commenter, random boarder, or FEI professional knows and advocates for your horse like you do.
Here is the secret sauce to what I believe are characteristics that facilitate a vibrant partnership with your horse. You already possess these characteristics—every human does—but I want to bring your awareness to how these empower you and your horse on a daily basis.
I call them the 5 "C"s.
Calm, Confident, Compassionate, Creative, Curious
If you can embrace these qualities, your equine partner with THRIVE. Let's exam each one:
Calm: When we are calm, we lack internal turmoil, indecision, and the unpredictability that come with strong emotions. I picture calmness as a serene pond or lake. When we are calm, no matter the environment, we improve the felt safety of those around us. We are unruffled by the mistakes or learning moments our horses make and act as a loving, guiding parent as they explore the world and learn new things.
Confident: Do not mistake confidence for arrogance. Confidence is sureness in yourself and your abilities. It means you know what you are asking your horse is given, not taken. It's knowing you are there to help and improve your horse's experience with you and the world around you. It is not self-seeking, it is not strong-willed, but rather a sureness in your ability to provide safety and support for you and your horse.
Compassionate: Honestly, I think this is the hardest one. Compassion is not just for your horse; it is for you as well. If you struggle with a strong inner critic, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, compassion will not come naturally. In fact, you will need to fight for it to protect your internal and external space.
Compassion means you have grace for the journey of learning ahead. You will bumble, make mistakes, feel frustration, and criticize yourself and your horse. Compassion is the soothing balm, the antithesis to these internal battles.
Compassion for yourself is looking your horse in the eye and saying, "Sorry, I did that wrong, that wasn't your fault..." and maybe follow it with a chuckle and a pat. Compassion for your horse is saying, "Hey, hey, it's okay. Slow down, take the time you need to process, I've got you..." or "It's okay if you're afraid. I'm here to help you find safe...".
Creative: I cannot account for every possible scenario that might come up in your unique dynamics with your horse. My goal is to equip you with tools and knowledge to make decisions on your equine partner's behalf. This means that you might need get creative in your approach or introduction of a new concept. As long as you feel what you are asking is fair, reasonable and possible, get creative and explore the possibilities!
Curious: Curiosity is the antithesis of frustration. We cannot be frustrated and curious at the same time. It's like trying to skip and be angry... who ever skipped angrily?? Curiosity is expansive and limitless. When you are curious, possibilities are endless. Just because you or your horse have done the same thing with the same result 100 times does not mean that change isn't possible. Choose to be curious and endless possibilities will open up to you.
All of those qualities combined create a powerful, limitless, grounded dynamic. They feel empowering! Like anything is possible for you and your equine partner.
Be the partner your horse needs to thrive. You are their advocate in this world; you hold the power to create a beautiful partnership with a thriving, happy equine athlete.
This was a direct excerpt from the first module in the Restart Online Program. If you can embody these qualities in your partnership, you will see incredible transformations for you and your horse through the Program and the rest of your journey together.
To learn more about the Restart Program, visit our website auroraequine.com or shoot us an email! We are happy to answer any questions.
Stay curious and Happy Partnerships!
-- Aurora C., Founder
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