We all got into horses for a reason, maybe it was a young age and pony club or more as an adult realizing their childhood dreams. Maybe it was for the connection, maybe it was for the performance.
At some point, child or adult, our WHY gets sabotaged by the world and social media, by barn culture, and external inputs.
Frankly horses are too expensive to not remember our WHY.
WHY did we get into them in the first place?
What part of our time and connection with our horses is renewing to us?
What part gives us life?
What part drains us?
Where do we find the most joy, pleasure, and satisfaction?
For me this has been a really important question to wrestle with.
I want to explore and experience it all with horses. Whether that's performance or pleasure, but I'm reminded of an important variable: What does my HORSE enjoy?
Thinking over my journey with Warrior, my 7 yr old OTTB, we've developed a incredible partnership starting from a rocky place. I can see a clear pattern though of when we have good sessions and when we have frustrating sessions. What causes this? Whether I have performance oriented goals versus pleasure goals.
Anytime I focus on contact or bend or transitions, anything slightly micro-managey (that's an adjective) or narrow focused he looses his softness and connection. He does it but it feels wooden, not free.
Versus my rides where we are exploring, or partnering on a tasks or hacking out, I feel the free flowing energy between us where our intentions are aligned and communication is subtle and soft. If you've experienced this feeling, then you know it is more delicious than I can describe.
So back to our WHY questions! WHY is this so important? Well I've felt the cultural pressure to pursue performance, and while I see a strength in taking partnership into the performance world, I don't have a horse that is interested in that. And to be honest, I'm not sure that fuels me. I find what fuels me are the rides and times spent partnering with my horse doing what we love together in trust and in harmony. Rather than tossing time, energy and money into this endless black hole of perfection and progress.
My challenge for you, is don't forget your WHY. Write it down at your barn. Put it in your grooming box. Remind yourself as you're driving to the barn. Your WHY is what fuels you; it's what makes all of the expenses, stresses and vet bills worth it. I think our horses tune into our why. There is something on a fundamental level they can perceive when we are acting outside of our WHY and it feels ingenuine or unaligned.
If you do not know your WHY, here are some thoughts to help you discover it:
Think through the rides, sessions, or circumstances with your horse, that have felt most elating to you. You left the barn feeling light and filled with joy.
Think through some rides, sessions, or circumstances with your horse that have left you feeling drained, lost, or deflated.
What rides, sessions, or circumstances does your horse feel most connective, soft, and willing? Maybe we feel them focused and energized, maybe we feel them content and relaxed. Each horse is different, but this is important to be aware of.
Find that moment or feeling that makes you think, "THIS! THIS is WHY I got into horses". And do it as long as it's healthy for both you and your horse.
Happy Partnerships!
If you know your WHY, leave a comment!
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